“How much is Sweet Tea?”

I swear, if you have to ask how much a soda, or tea is, then you shouldn’t be coming out to eat. It was ghetto night last night, and it didn’t happen till the last few minutes I was there. That’s a lie, it happened all night. Tips were so shitty last night, it just wasn’t worth my time to be there. If you run me like a dog, then tip me accordingly. Not 2.87 on a 65 dollar check. Not a dollar on a hundred dollar check.

So me and “N” had a party come in and sit in both of our sections, so we ended up splitting it. I didn’t mind that in the least, a quick 16 bucks from the grat, that didn’t get rung up under my name. Somehow, I ended up with 8 high school girls who all had separate checks. And the chaperone, some fat woman, made sure to go to each person and tell them, “The tip is included, don’t leave them anything extra.” I hate that. Sometimes more than 18 percent is deserved. Especially after 8 high school girls run you for 6 refills each in the first 10 minutes they’re there. Waters. Waters…and more waters…and sharing of meals…I hate high school girls.

Telling you all of high school girls makes me remember the cheerleader convention that came to town a couple months after I started where I was at. During the holidays….

There were swarms of them. Anorexic, ghetto, slutty looking, blond bimbo trashy little girls. When I see a table sit down, and i see cell phones and sidekicks come out to text the little brat at the next table instead of just talking, and hear that annoying giggle, it really makes me want to puke. Then, they start playing games. Twenty loud blond teenage girls, all having their skirts up to their baby coozies makes me want to projectile vomit into their eyes, blinding them. They play a crane machine. One at a time now. As soon as the crane moves a quarter of an inch, “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH” at the top of their lungs. Another inch, and another “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH” Imagine a roller coaster full of terrified kids and middle aged women. Or a woman being chased by a mugger. That, in a semi close area, on top of annoying top 40 music, right next to the entrance to the kitchen, right next to your section. For at least 3 hours. 3 hours a night…for the entire weekend…..makes me shudder with fear to this day. I didn’t like the cheerleaders when I was in school, and it’s not that I was unpopular. I was the token gay kid, that everyone loved because they liked diversity at my school and i was the only one with the guts to come out. The cheerleaders tried to accost me and make me their token gay friend, but i was forced to flee, because they gave me migraines with their incessant screaming even then.

I had lots of price checkers last night…(sorry, had to get off the cheerleader subject, got a headache). I’m talking price checkers on everything, even the things where the prices are listed in the menu. I’m sorry, but I don’t have EVERY single drink in our 220 drink menu memorized with price, ingredients, proof of alcohol, and taste (i’m a sober kid now). That’s a bartender thing, and I haven’t yet moved to the bar. The woman who asked me how much the sweet tea was didn’t get one when she found out that after tax, and with free refills, it would be 2.48 or so. She got a side of fries with her water. No tip.

“How much is a jack and coke?” “it’s about 6 bucks before the tax” “Well thats just to goddamn much” “Then go to a liquor store, I’ve got other guests while I’m arguing with you.”

I swear, if I didn’t like waiting tables, and enjoy meeting new people and getting new shit for this blog, I’d probably find a different line of work. There are certain guests who make my nights great.

Making the kids smile and laugh…

Parents who actually control their kids..

My regulars, who come in to hear my drama, laugh with me, actually care about how things are going, and tip lavishly ( I wouldn’t care if they did or not being that they come and see me a few times a week.)

I have a couple of regulars that come in every week, sometimes twice a week. They drink up a storm, and call a cab when they get too drunk…well, i call the cab for them. They ask how things are going with my partner and i, my family, and they always like to hear my drama. I tell them about the stupidity of most of my guests, and they laugh. When they came in a week and a half ago, and asked how i was doing, I told them the truth, that at the time, my partner and I were staying in a motel. The reason, I fucked up with the extension on our light bill and the lights were cut off behind it. My fault, not a big deal, i paid rent and grocery shopped the night before it was due, and i didnt realize it. They’re back on now. Anyway, these guests actually offered to pay the bill. I’d never have accepted an offer like that, not even from my family. I’d let my family help, but not pay the whole thing. I was in tears. Here’s a middle aged couple that comes to eat and drink, offering to help me with my light bill. For the sake of anonymity, i won’t post their names, but they have this blog address, and they know who they are.

The first thing they do when they come in the front door, is ask if I’m working. They’ve only stayed once when I wasn’t there, because no-one pays attention to them. The reason no one pays attention to them? They’re black. The black servers don’t wanna wait on black people, and the other white servers don’t wanna wait on them.

Me personally, I couldn’t give a rats ass if someones black or white, yellow or green, so long as they tip me well, and treat me right. Don’t run me like a dog just to see me run, don’t cuss me out because the cooks fucked up your steak, or the expo accidentally let a piece of bacon bit fall on your potato. I have a problem with servers who racially profile. I learned against it years ago. Yes, there’s gonna be black people who run ya like a dog, just like there’s gonna be white people who do it. Let me tell ya, rednecks are 10 times worse than black people when it comes to serving, until gratuity time. Black people, excuse me, ghetto black people, don’t think they should have to pay grats. It’s in the menu. I also have a problem with servers who completely refuse to take a table because the table is black. It does happen, even with the black servers. Why they don’t get fired, even when reported, is beyond me.

Anyway, this is a long enough blog, and I have to sleep for my night shift tonight, be there 4-about 2am.

I’m sure there will be another post tomorrow, so come back soon everbody =).


2 thoughts on ““How much is Sweet Tea?”

  1. “Twenty loud blond teenage girls, all having their skirts up to their baby coozies makes me want to projectile vomit into their eyes, blinding them.”

    This is where we part ways.

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