Whoever invented the “Free Birthday Dessert” should be publicly executed

I don’t know where the practice of giving out a free dessert for birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions started, but these desserts are not given out everywhere.


10 thoughts on “Whoever invented the “Free Birthday Dessert” should be publicly executed

  1. Personally, I loathe birthday songs at restaurants. They are loud, annoying, usually embarassing. The husband and I have an agreement… as long as you don’t embarass me in public on my birthday, I won’t embarass you. Or, as the husband puts it “you’re birthday is first so if you do that for mine, I have 10 months to plan revenge.”

    That said, I was at dinner on Saturday night when a girl about 3 years old was out with her elderly grandparents. I had a good view of her and her eyes lit up like stars when they sung (somewhat quietly too) Happy Birthday and gave her a small dish of ice cream (which she wasn’t even expecting). I’m actually perfectly okay that, but when they get a bit older, or if adults want to be sung to, its just weird.

  2. Free birthday treats? Pffffpppt! Who needs them? I can say that I haven’t been to any restaurant who gives free birthday desserts. I’ve seen places sing happy birthday songs to the birthday person though. (just, for the love of God, don’t ever sing to me – how embarrassing!)

  3. Uuugggghhhhh. The expectant birthday look. I want to kick teeth in when I see it.

    Let’s see, you accomplished what in the last year? Oh, yes, you managed not to die in a year’s time. Well, shit, then, dessert SHOULD be on the restaurant! Song and dance! Games of grabass! Because… we care?

    I had a three top a few weeks ago of hayseeds all in their late thirties. They pointed at the lucky pre-mortem knob, proclaiming, “It’s his birthday!” He grinned stupidly, then they all stared at me. Like, hot waitress, plus birthday, means we get to see hot waitress bewbs, right? Or should I just crawl in your lap, sir? Because you deserve it, doncha, birthday boy?

    *hate hate hate*

  4. And…if you happen to be at a place that DOES this horric ritual and the person whose birthday it is specifically requests not to have singing…do NOT insist that it be done anyway. Doing otherwise makes you a pompous ass who deserves nothing less than a shiv shoved down your throat, spin around a couple of times and wiped on your tongue for ruining someone else’s birthday dining experience.

  5. Best yet, this will be the birthday that little betsy remembers as “the time my mom humiliated me at a restaurant instead of just buying me a damn hot fudge sundae”

  6. Hear hear! Whoever came up with free dessert on your birthday should be publicly executed and those who DEMAND one — not to be confused with those who request one but accept “no” as an answer — should be publicly flogged. After all, they wanted to be publicly humiliated anyway. Might as well make it entertaining for the staff and other patrons as well.

    But then again, I’m introverted by nature. I find it so very humiliating to have people sing a silly song at me in public. I don’t eat desserts at restaurants anyway (sorry Ribeye), so the price for “free” one is too great.

    Now, if I subscribe to a restaurants newsletter and they send me an offer for a free appetizer or dessert for my birthday, that’s fine. Just take the coupon and keep your silly song to your self.

  7. The last time I went to Olive Garden for my birthday, they did bring out a dessert, but not free. & I do hate singing at work for birthdays. Half the time they have lied anyway because they expect something for free. I don’t mind as much if it’s for a really really old person or a small child, but if there is no birthday policy, then they need to get over it. & the majority of the time, when someone has “casually” mentioned a birthday in their party, it’s in the middle of a rush. Food is dying in the window with many tickets that need that space, & here we all are making fools of ourselves & losing money on their birthday dessert that our managers comp. Free for them maybe, but not us.

  8. Executed indeed, because as others have said, even in a restaurant like mine where we give no bday dessert, some people get all kinds of pissed when they don’t get one…

  9. Yeesh. Each month I go out with a group of friends to a conveniently located chain restaurant. They do the birthday thing and each time we go out we get to hear the horrid song at least once.

    For the record, our group has been going out to dinner like this for two years, and despite it all, none of us has ever had a birthday, not once. We threaten each other, though, to claim it’s their birthday. So far, no one’s carried out that threat (because honestly, why inflict that pain on yourself?)

    At the bar where I work B-day = free drink. No candles, no song, now take your ever-loving shot and shut up. It’s a good system.

  10. Where I work…we sing HAPPY BIRTHDAY many, many, MANY times in a day!! It doesn’t matter what day or time of the year it is…I have to sing happy birthday to my tables and other tables…plus when you have a good voice..it’s WORSE!!

    I HATE when people tell me it’s their kids’ birthday and then do NOT want dessert. Well then it’s like…”hmmm so do they expect me to sing without dessert”. I usually go through the trouble to bring out a small morsel of ice cream or something to just sing to the poor kid..if you’re going to TELL me it’s someone’s birthday, then I’ll sing. I hate it and it’s annoying plus time consuming AND it never seems to get me a BETTER tip!
    I actually feel like if I DO NOT do it..my tip will go down…which makes no sense to me.

    Also I hate all these instructions…”my kid doesn’t want you to sing but we want a candle..” When I’m busy, sometimes I forget those stupid, minute details..ESPECIALLY when your kids go to the game room for 30 minutes…people expect you to dance around their time schedule..forgetting I have to get the desserts made
    for when they want them. P.I.T.Ass!

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