I Despise Children and the Parents that Beget Them!

Children, as I’ve said here before, are the bane of my existence.


29 thoughts on “I Despise Children and the Parents that Beget Them!

  1. My children are going to fear me, when I get to that stage of my life. I declared to my girlfriend that if she and I have kids together, if they make a scene in public, I am going to make my kid go around and apologise to everybody who was disrupted by the kid’s ruckus.

    I apologise for your plight.

  2. My good Catholic mother and father raised nine of us and had no problem taking us out in public. We were raised to be polite to people and not to have fits and destroy things.

  3. Whoo hoo! I must be a minority, cause if my spawn even DARE act out of line and don’t say “please” and “thank you” to the server they will get a trip to the bathroom for an ass whuppin’! (Of course, I was a server at one time so I know.) Sorry about getting kicked in the dangely bits! 😦


    An adult would have been, and kids need to learn they cant just get away with anything because they’re little!

    That’s so sick.

    But,atleast he got crap presents. 😀

  5. Not to nitpick, but Christian parents are typically more inclined to discipline with a good spanking than non-christians. The opposition to physical punishment sprung out of the pop psychology movement in the 60’s. Damn hippies.

  6. Why would they stop breeding when they have the cutest most pwecious kiddies in the whole wide world? People like that think that everyone worships the ground their their kiddies walk on as much as they do which is why their spawns grow up to be entitlement junkies.

  7. Ribeye, this post was funny as hell (can I say that???) and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

    Take care and keep doing what you are doing my friend!

  8. I’m really sad to read that you didn’t do anything to that demon child. I would have kicked back. Or smack him across the face. I wouldn’t have cared if I was fired for that. He would’ve deserved it.

  9. If a kid kicked me in the balls..I’d grab his arm and yell at him in some way. I had a kid hit me both hands right in my eyes once but then realized he did something wrong when his parents actually yelled at him..that did HURT.
    What was on their check? A couple of teas and the chips N salsa.. You said only parties of 8 get the auto-grat..this party had 5 or 6? I would have definitely said something like : “Gratuity is not included” I probably would have demanded a tip especially if I was chasing their kid all around the bowling alley and the kid kicked me in the shin and nuts. I would have said ” Your child kicked me twice – once right in the family jewels and you aren’t going to leave me anything for a tip?!?
    Now I’d risk getting fired because I’d tell my manager(s) that their kid hurt me. I might go get a manager to come out to ask them why they didn’t want to tip me…if something was wrong?!
    One last thing..so you serve tables at a bowling alley?
    I’m surprised you’re just a raging server and not a homicidal one! Sounds like there are plenty of customers you would have some justice with by getting your REVENGE!!
    I would have also added…tipping would be the Christian thing to do!

  10. How Christian art has fallen. Christendom used to produce artists like Bernini and Michaelangelo. Now we get Precious Moments. Oy vey!!

  11. Yeesh. I’m so glad I work at a bar. So, so glad. While we have the occasional tot, they’re few and far between.

    I’m amazed by how terrible some parents are. When I was four, I was far too afraid of getting in trouble to ever run wild like that. My parents didn’t go in for spankings much, but they managed my brother and I just fine without them.

    I wrote a persuasive paper for a comp. class when I was an undergrad. My thesis was that people should have to get a license before they can procreate – like a driver’s license before they can drive. I stand firmly by that thesis.

  12. “If I get to have kids, at 4 years old they may get things such as building blocks, word games, paint sets and toy instruments, but nothing so overtly quasi-Christian.”

    You are forgetting that there are a number of so called Christians of the Jerry Falwell going stripe that consider anything that isn’t proclaiming Jesus or their particular kool aid brand of Christanity is kicking god out or hates god. No sense of taste in their faux Christian goods either. Go to one of their Christian book stores and look at what they sell. You would throw up if you had a delicate fashion sense.

  13. Yeah, man, I know what you mean. I was a _much_ better parent, before I actually had kids. .

    That said, these folks should not be going out in public, and they sure as heck aren’t adhering to their Christian principles.

  14. I had a group of mean Christians with rude kids last night. They left me Bible verses for the tip. IAs a coworker reminded me, even God gets a 10% tip once a week. Idiots! Waiting tables reminds me why I DON’T want kids, especially with nights like you had!

  15. No matter who does it or why, leaving anything other than money for your tip is extremely tacky.

    I’ve mentioned this before; if I or one of my Christian companions feel a little verse or something MUST be left for the server,
    it’s mandatory to leave a generous tip as well, NEVER ‘instead of’! I can’t believe anybody who honestly assumes it’s going to save someone. Money looks after practical life needs. As far as the spiritual needs, a religious piece of paper has no inherent power other than what is bestowed upon it by the the viewer who *already* has some degree of interest or curiosity.
    Under the guise of trying to ‘spread the word’, these very VERY misguided ‘Christians’ think they are doing God’s will, but they neglect that God CARES for the needs of the BODY as well.

    Mother Theresa didn’t just walk down the roads of Calcutta handing out tracts and saying sweetly, “God bless you!”

  16. Don’t post my prior comment that was just made in a hurry. I would rather post “Your intention is noble however you may want to rethink about mentioning the woman whose birth name was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu. Mother Theresa was an illusion and the real story of what she did makes her not a saint at all. A lot of people who have looked into the reality of her do not consider her worthy of any praise.”

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