I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…Kids are the Bane of my existence

Kids are evil.

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16 thoughts on “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again…Kids are the Bane of my existence

  1. Ribeye, can’t you ask the BigWigs in charge to make it a policy that kids (or adults for that matter) can’t wear Heelys in your restaurant? They’ve banned them in the mall at Clarksville. They’ve banned smoking in your restaurant – why not these Made In Hell shoes?

  2. Heelies are a tool of Satan.

    That being said, if either one of my children ever spoke to you in such a way or behaved as this little beast did, I would personally punt their ass.

    My kids can be a handful. But I can guarantee you that if they act up in a restaurant it will only last as long as it takes me to drag/carry them out the door while hubby gets a box for my dinner and leaves a big fat tip for the poor wait staff who had to deal with us.

  3. Have you seen these fat-assed kids, the size of baby whales, being pulled around stores by their parents, Heely’s gliding them effortlessly along? So now they don’t have to walk and don’t have to actually exert any effort to “skate” through places.

    Lazy, fat lardos!

  4. Oh, my god. I *hate* those Heely things. We have a restaurant around the corner — a family restaurant type place — that has signs that skates of any kind are not allowed, and yet I frequently see kids zipping around, their parents oblivious.

    I don’t get these parents. I notice *most* of these oblivious, totally permissive parents are in their 40s, so I wonder if it’s a generational thing. I don’t let my kids be obnoxious in public, although once in a while it’ll earn me a scolding from some busybody who entreats me to “let them be kids.” You really can’t win.

  5. Ribeye, just by way of some criticism, skip the “what really happened” in the future posts. This was marvelous and we could tell what was going on; you didn’t have to explain. Yes, definitely keep doing these. Love the bloody talons.

  6. OMG.

    It’s people like that who make all parents look bad.

    My daughter would NEVER, EVER have been so goddamned rude to ANYONE. If she had EVER pulled shit like that in a public place, I would have busted her ass for it, period.

    But then, I taught my daughter, who is now 13, manners, and EXPECT HER TO FUCKING USE THEM. And, furthermore, I’m not her friend, I’m her MOTHER. My word is LAW, and I don’t tolerate the shit that some of her classmates give their parents.

    Oh, and concerning Heelys? My daughter’s friends know that they cannot wear those evil fucking shoes if they plan on going ANYWHERE with me. Heely’s don’t come in my car, let alone in the goddamn mall (why do all teenagers want to hang out at the mall? it wasn’t exciting when I was doing it, and it’s no more exciting now…), or a restaurant, or anywhere else that’s not a skate park or someone’s driveway.

    I hate parents like Dragon Lady, mother of Demon Spawn. I really fucking do.

  7. I had a table of 2 kids under 7, their parents and grandfather. One of the children couldn’t make up his mind between a shrimp dish and a $25 piece of fish. Of course, mommy let her son go back and forth and the kid was actually smiling over the fuss he was causing. Finally, grandpa said, “For the love of God he’s a 6 year old! He’s getting the spaghetti and that’s that. Stop wasting this poor girl’s time!” The boy started to throw a tantrum but grandpa held his ground. When the food came he refused to eat and grandpa said, “Good! Then you’ll go home hungry.” The kid then cleaned his plate and the nonsense was over. This kid didn’t need a spanking, just rules. Today’s parents don’t realize that kids want and need guidelines. Old school child rearing works and it would behoove today’s parents to revert back to it.

  8. I loathe the hell shoe wearing demon spawn. I work in a department store. On Black Friday I was working the 4am-10am shift putting out new clothes as people shopped. A young demon girl child was skating around the crowds and stumbled into a rack of picture frames across from my department. I said, “Please don’t skate in the store.” She nodded and walked away. I go back to putting out my High School Musical hoodies. When I turn to grab some dresses off my rack and put those out I see demon child skating again. Little old man shopping for granddaughter comes out of an aisle and surprises demon girl. She dodges left, collides with rack of shirts, and down she goes with a long whining cry. Mom yells at me for having a messy rack that hurt her daughter, I tell mom that if daughter was told not to skate in the store and that if she listened she wouldn’t have fallen and of course her daughter denied getting a warning. The grandfather came to my rescue saying he heard me tell the child not to skate, and then added that the mother should be ashamed for raising such a disobedient and disrespectful child before getting in line to check out. He was my hero of the day.

  9. It cuts both ways.
    My now 16 year old discovered the joys of good meat when I took her to an upscale place when she was 12. She has not been a cheap date since. Golden corall and she will have the soup and salat. Take her to a decent place and it is the 16 ounce ribeye medium rare (overcook it and it’s going back)

    We found many places would not serve medium rare to some one under 16. And many of the wait staff would/could not comprehend a 12
    year old tearing into something so gargantuan in their eyes. I ussualy had to intercede and say do what the young lady asks.
    Those who made my angel happy were rewarded with an extra 5-10%. Those who made momma
    order for the 13 year old and the 13 year old order for monmma, got the standard tip or less. (momma won’t eat anything unless it is double dead and cooked beyond taste.
    The good staff always got a kick out of the 13 year old asking if she could kiss the chef if it was above average. This child knows her meat. The others gave me a look of disdain for allowin someone so young to eat something so huge.
    She never left a scrap. She is also not of the large variety. If she indulges she just runs two miles the next day to work it off.

  10. Try dropping a 60 lbs buss-tub on top of a little devil with those god forsaken shoes. I am the busser/dishwasher, which usually means I don’t have to deal with people much. It’s usually great. However, I was ran into by one of those little brats wearing those, fell over, dropped my full tub, and barely missed the little shit. This was right in front of the open fireplace. And Mom has the nerve to try yelling at me.

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