Have any of you heard of the Dove Awards? These are the people I got to deal with at work today and tonight. Those who sing for Jesus..
The Jesus Singers are evil people no matter how “Christian” they claim to be.
They came in like a swarm, starting around 2:30 today, once I was the only person left on the floor in my area. They swarmed the dining room. They swarmed wearing nice clothes, and ID badges to get them backstage. They also slammed our skeleton crew kitchen today, ordering hundreds of dollars worth of food and then bitching when it wasn’t out in 5 minutes or less like a fucking Burger King.
I had lots of complaints, and lots of bad tips today. I had a few good ones, not enough to make it worth staying for a full double shift, but what can ya do.
First table: “We’re singing at the Dove awards later. Please pray with us that we do a good job, it would mean so much if you would!” I didn’t have a chance to tell them I was a sodomite Pagan infidel before heads were bowed and they were invoking the names of various Biblical Prophets and Jesus Himself.
Second table: They seemed to be dressed in their Sunday best, however, their Sunday best was truly Redneck Chic. The mother of that demonic horde of groin spawn was extremely large. Think of the “Dark-Sided” Woman from Wife-Swap…
As I walked to the table, I was greeted with the sight of her holding a baby….to her…breast. The memory still makes me want to puke. She wasn’t just holding the baby, her other hand was forced to hold the breast….it’s size, it’s blubbery size…she had to pinch out the nipple for the baby because it was surrounded by the fat. She let her nip go as I walked up, startling her, and like one of those parasites that burrow into the skin of kitties and people alike, it wriggled back into it’s hole. I turned away, said “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” as quickly as I could, and barely made it to the bathroom. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem seeing boobs, but that was just about the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. They stayed for 3 hours playing games, then tipped me 10%. They too, chose to include me in prayer without my consent.
Table 3: By far the best table I’ve served in a while. Party of 7. Attendees of the Dove awards, but not singers or anything. Just people who were going to watch. They didn’t ask me to pray with them, they didn’t ask to pray for me, they didn’t even pray! They did however treat me like a person and not a slave. They did however talk with me, and they were very nice people. They tipped me a very nice rate of 50 on 200. I hope to see them again this weekend. Hopefully, they weren’t leading me on like some of my guests do.
Table 4: This particular table overheard me talking with my friend about the RagingPartner, and they figured out that I was a homosexuadaggah. They chose to pray for me for having a “perverse heart”, before requesting a different server. I made sure to inform them that not only did I have a “perverse heart”, that I was also a Pagan Infidel as well. They ended up leaving.
I had to endure more singing of praise than I ever had to deal with as a child, or on any Benny Hinn show. I’ve said it before, I don’t like dealing with religion at work, and now you all know the truth. I am a Pagan. I’ve been called a “godless infidel”, and a “western infidel”, and “Satanist, devil worshiping bastard”, and none of those things are true, especially not the devil worshiping part. It’s not that I disbelieve all Christian beliefs, it’s not that I don’t believe in Jesus and in God, I just have other beliefs too. Those don’t involve listening to the songs of worship while I’m at work. I don’t care if it’s the mighty Gospel awards, Gospel gets on my nerves even more than hymns!
With the exception of my 50 dollar, 25% tip that I got today from the one group, I never once got anything more than 10%.
So much for the generosity of hardcore Christians. It’s the Christians that don’t force it on ya that are generous. They’re the ones that understand that God just doesn’t pay the bills, no matter how hard they believe otherwise.
I don’t hate all Christians, I don’t even hate most of them. I just hate having praise forced on me!