Slow nights…

It’s been slow at work. It’s been slow at work all week long. I’m tired of going to work to make no money. I know the economy is slow, but come the fuck on. Not only is it slow, but the only trash that is coming out to eat is trash that doesn’t want to leave me a tip.

Tonight, in the bowling alley, it was a swirl of ghetto redneckyness. I had a couple of really nice lanes, ones that tipped me around 35%. Those two lanes didn’t make up for the other 7 I served that didn’t leave me jack shit!

First we have Deflanaqueesha and her kids. “Hey you!” I hear while I’m at another lane. “Is you our waitah?” I still don’t know who is yelling at me so I choose to ignore it and keep taking my order. Then I feel the tapping on my back. Within seconds, the tapping becomes a light beating and I finally turn around. “What the Hell is your problem?” I yell before actually seeing that there’s a little boy standing behind me.

“My mommah wanna know if you is our waitah. She say if you is ta come ovah here.” The little brat ran down to the next set of lanes and proceeded to yell to his mother, “Dat man yell at me mommah.” This little fucker couldn’t have been more than 6-7 years old. Knowing what I was about to get myself into, I chose to continue taking my time.

When I finally did get to their lane, Deflanaqueesha didn’t give me a chance to talk. “Who da Hell do you think you is yellin at my baby like that? How the fuck dare you?”

“First of all, ma’am, your child came to me while I was with another guest. Your child didn’t let me finish doing what I was doing before he started yelling at me. YOUR CHILD chose to start beating me in the back rather than wait for me to finish doing what I was doing, so yes ma’am, I yelled at your child. I apologize, I lost my temper, but I’m not going to have some little kid beating me in the back when I’m busy doing my job!”

“How is you gon’ talk to me like that? I am the customah, you need to treat me with respect.”

“Well how about this, ma’am. I won’t disrespect you, and you keep your kids at your lane with you and supervised, like they’re supposed to be. What can I get for you to drink.” She muttered under her breath about me for a bit but I had to keep her from going off on me somehow. She ended up getting half her food comped for being “cold” with steam coming off of it, and left me a dollar on a 30 dollar check. Fucking dirty assed snatch licking whore.

Then we come to the rednecks in the pool room. I hate rednecks. I hate them with a passion. I walk into the pool room which my co-workers had been neglecting for the most part, and I see a group in the corner. They have drinks and food, so I don’t think anything about checking on them. They weren’t my guests. I walk past them and go on to the people I was already serving.

Once again, I hear yelling. “Hey boy.” I ignore it, not sure if they’re yelling at me or not. I hear another yell, this one more centralized and much closer to me. “Hey waiter!” Fuck you, bastard, I don’t respond to the names ‘boy’ or ‘waiter’. I turn around, and I see a tall, maybe 6’6 or so, and stocky white guy wearing a red and white striped polo. He’s got an empty beer bottle in his hand. “I need anotha beer, boy.”

“I’ll make sure to tell your server you need another one then.”

“We done paid her, why don’t you go get me one. Brang us some shots uh Jager too.”

I can see just how drunk these mother fuckers are already, so I just kind of smile and nod and walk away. Less than a minute after I get back into the bowling alley, Big Red comes around the corner yelling, “Wheres da Jager at?”

I think maybe his girlfriend was embarrassed at how he was acting out in public, because when I finally rang in an appetizer sampler for them, 15 dollar check, she tips 5 bucks and writes “Sorry bout everythin” on the bottom of her credit card slip. I personally think that Big Red was a bit abusive with how she was cowering every time he came close to her.

Apparently he and his friends got a little pissed off at how much their pool tab came up to because they were pissed as hell when it came time to pay for it. The door “bouncers” and manager made sure they were escorted out afterwards.

This is the kind of shit that happens on a slow night. This, and the 38 bucks I made before tip out on an almost 600 dollar night of sales.

And people wonder why I hate working in the bowling/billiard area where I’m forced to serve nothing but trash. I don’t know why I keep getting screwed over there, but it’s really starting to piss me off. The game room is where I’m strongest, and where I make actual money despite having to serve trash within the great people.

If you’re going to act like you’ve caught the dumbass, if you’ve caught the dumbass, or if you’re just plain stupid, don’t bother coming out in public. Your actions cause people to plot your deaths….vividly.

Ribeye

As an add on to the original post, I’d like everyone to take the time to visit the RagingPartner’s site, FrontDeskBlog.

The Singers for Jesus

Have any of you heard of the Dove Awards? These are the people I got to deal with at work today and tonight. Those who sing for Jesus..

The Jesus Singers are evil people no matter how “Christian” they claim to be.

They came in like a swarm, starting around 2:30 today, once I was the only person left on the floor in my area. They swarmed the dining room. They swarmed wearing nice clothes, and ID badges to get them backstage. They also slammed our skeleton crew kitchen today, ordering hundreds of dollars worth of food and then bitching when it wasn’t out in 5 minutes or less like a fucking Burger King.

I had lots of complaints, and lots of bad tips today. I had a few good ones, not enough to make it worth staying for a full double shift, but what can ya do.

First table: “We’re singing at the Dove awards later. Please pray with us that we do a good job, it would mean so much if you would!” I didn’t have a chance to tell them I was a sodomite Pagan infidel before heads were bowed and they were invoking the names of various Biblical Prophets and Jesus Himself.

Second table: They seemed to be dressed in their Sunday best, however, their Sunday best was truly Redneck Chic. The mother of that demonic horde of groin spawn was extremely large. Think of the “Dark-Sided” Woman from Wife-Swap…

darksided.jpg

As I walked to the table, I was greeted with the sight of her holding a baby….to her…breast. The memory still makes me want to puke. She wasn’t just holding the baby, her other hand was forced to hold the breast….it’s size, it’s blubbery size…she had to pinch out the nipple for the baby because it was surrounded by the fat. She let her nip go as I walked up, startling her, and like one of those parasites that burrow into the skin of kitties and people alike, it wriggled back into it’s hole. I turned away, said “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” as quickly as I could, and barely made it to the bathroom. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem seeing boobs, but that was just about the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. They stayed for 3 hours playing games, then tipped me 10%. They too, chose to include me in prayer without my consent.

Table 3: By far the best table I’ve served in a while. Party of 7. Attendees of the Dove awards, but not singers or anything. Just people who were going to watch. They didn’t ask me to pray with them, they didn’t ask to pray for me, they didn’t even pray! They did however treat me like a person and not a slave. They did however talk with me, and they were very nice people. They tipped me a very nice rate of 50 on 200. I hope to see them again this weekend. Hopefully, they weren’t leading me on like some of my guests do.

Table 4: This particular table overheard me talking with my friend about the RagingPartner, and they figured out that I was a homosexuadaggah. They chose to pray for me for having a “perverse heart”, before requesting a different server. I made sure to inform them that not only did I have a “perverse heart”, that I was also a Pagan Infidel as well. They ended up leaving.

I had to endure more singing of praise than I ever had to deal with as a child, or on any Benny Hinn show. I’ve said it before, I don’t like dealing with religion at work, and now you all know the truth. I am a Pagan. I’ve been called a “godless infidel”, and a “western infidel”, and “Satanist, devil worshiping bastard”, and none of those things are true, especially not the devil worshiping part. It’s not that I disbelieve all Christian beliefs, it’s not that I don’t believe in Jesus and in God, I just have other beliefs too. Those don’t involve listening to the songs of worship while I’m at work. I don’t care if it’s the mighty Gospel awards, Gospel gets on my nerves even more than hymns!

With the exception of my 50 dollar, 25% tip that I got today from the one group, I never once got anything more than 10%.

So much for the generosity of hardcore Christians. It’s the Christians that don’t force it on ya that are generous. They’re the ones that understand that God just doesn’t pay the bills, no matter how hard they believe otherwise.

I don’t hate all Christians, I don’t even hate most of them. I just hate having praise forced on me!

Jesus Wept…

I think it was in the movie Barber Shop though it could have been one of the Friday series, but it was a quick prayer, given by Ice Cube.

In my years of serving, and being in the service industry in general, I’ve gotten to see many people in many different groups praying in many different ways.