“Crash and Applaud” submitted by Eric. 4/30/08

This is more of a self deprecating horror story. My first job out of High school back in 76 was as a busser in this restaurant in Seattle called ‘The Great American Food and Beverage Companies Conglomeration’ Brass and ferns with eclectic decorations everywhere. The wait staff wore costumes and had to perform a song every hour. It was a raucous place and we had 2-3 hour waits every Friday and Saturday night. The building was on Lake Union off of Eastlake Ave and went down 3 stories to a basement with a full bakery on the second floor. The bus boy uniforms were Shorts Tennis shoes with Baseball socks and a tank top with a number on the Back. Mine was 25. And instead of a name was the word GOFER. Remember that scene in Fast times where Brad is making eyes at the hot babe in the next car in his Pirate Hat? Yeah that happened to me more then once. Now do not get me wrong, I had a great time working at this place and made pretty good money for the time. And I got to serve water to Bob (Col. Hogan) Crane and his date two days before someone beat him to death with a camera tripod. Good times.

Anyway. There was a Waiters station at the back of the dining room. There was a concrete stairwell that went directly down to the basement floor where we would take the garbage out to the dumpster. The only break was a landing halfway down where the office was. We would drag the full trash cans down these stairs bump bumb to avoid dragging the mess through the dining room.

So Friday Night middle of the rush. things are rocking. I go to take the back wait station trash out and get to the top stair and….over it goes. Echoing up though this concrete stairwell for a good five minutes as gravity does its work and me standing horrified. At the end whas the sound of one lone wine bottle spinning on the bottom landing.

The Dining room was absolutely silent. You could hear a pin drop.

And then came the applause. I got a standing ovation and had to clean up the garbage.

Oh yeah Bob left without eating.



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