Kurds don’t tip…

I have had another exhausting day today…another double shift.

Sorority Girls…aka…sorostitutes..are evil

Let me preface this by saying: I fucking hate serving ditzy assed females. I hate serving ditzy assed bitchy females. I hate serving ditzy assed bitchy young females.
EDIT: I’d also like to add: I know that not all sorority girls are like the ones I will describe here.

New Years Eve, the After

I’m plain and simply put exhausted. We closed an hour later than we normally do on Monday nights, but none of the servers knew we were going to. We were short staffed all around. 4 total dining room servers, 2 cocktail servers in the bowling alley, and 3 of us in the game room. I ran a 6 table section all night long. I got my ass kicked, once again. The worst part? My dept leader was back from his time off today. He was there for an admin meeting in the morning, and spent the evening doing scheduling. Not helping out his department, seeing that we were getting our asses royally handed to us on a fucking platinum platter, oh no, that would mean actual work. This mother fucker sat on his ass in the office working on a fucking schedule. I was pissed. I’m still pissed. I want his job so fucking bad, and he wastes it. I’m so tired of picking up the slack for his fuck-up’s.

We also started out with 2 bartenders at the beginning of the night. Why the 2nd one had the nerve to leave at 8 pm, I’ll never know, but that meant that drinks were coming out very slowly. I ended up jumping behind the bar and helping out along with running my 6 tables. That was a blast, let me tell ya. I didn’t mind too much, I enjoy it when I go behind the bar, knowing that I deserved to get that job in the first place and didn’t. I’m sure I’ll get it next time.

Nothing major to say about the shift except that I got my ass kicked, and stomped straight into the ground with a stiletto heel. I’m in pain all over, and I have to go back tomorrow. I’ve also lost one of my 2 days off this week that I was looking forward to, that being Thursday…payday. I was really looking forward to having that off, stopping in for a half minute to pick up a paycheck and leave again. Oh no, I have to go in and open, and the gods only know when I’ll be getting out of there.

My dept. this week has been in a shambles, which is a big part of my frustration. I take that back, it’s not just been this week, it’s just been the worst this week. The “one in charge” actually left someone who no longer works for the company on the schedule, and said that everything was covered. How the fuck would he know that, he’s been off on his honeymoon with “Flip-Flop” the dept. boss of the dining room servers, his “roommate”. They took their vacations the exact same time. The day before Christmas Eve until today. They came back in town just in time for the admin meeting they have every Monday, but did they stay and help out their areas? Nope. The managers are royally pissed at the cocktail leader due to his short staffing and his excuses about it. Last New Year’s Eve that I worked, we only had 12 cocktail servers on the schedule, and we still had more on the clock on these holidays than we had this year, and this year we had 17 cocktails on the schedule. What’s wrong with this picture? I know that job can’t be all fun and games, but come on, learn how to write a fucking schedule, or people are going to start rebelling on you. I don’t know how true it is, but I’ve heard that a couple of people are putting in notices. More money for me, I say.

To the nice old woman that I cussed out, I really do apologize.

Things you shouldn’t do when you want to be taken seriously

Going along with the theme of things that shouldn’t happen, just like the last post on “Things you shouldn’t say to your server”, today’s post is going to be on the things you shouldn’t do if you want people to take you seriously out in public. They can be at restaurants, they can be at the mall, this one is not just a server issue, this one’s a life issue. Stupid is spreading like the plague, so don’t be the next person to catch it.

Don’t go out in public drunk or high. People can tell, no matter how hard you try to hide it, and when people can see your intoxication, they know better than to believe anything you say.

Don’t make out with someone while you’re sitting at your table, or in the theater. If your server walks up and sees you making out with your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/trick/brother/sister/who the fuck ever, they’re going to roll their eyes, most likely tell you to get a room, and know that if you make a complaint, it’s only so you can try to impress your other by being a badass.

Don’t eat everything on your plate, then complain to a manager that the food was prepared wrong, or that it didn’t taste good. The manager isn’t going to give it to you for free just because you don’t feel like paying for it. If it was really prepared wrong or tasted bad, you’d have complained early, not eaten every last crumb.

Threatening to call the corporate office when you don’t get your way is just another way of throwing a temper tantrum. Managers and employees know that you’re just out to get something free, they won’t cave. Every time you threaten to call the corporate office, those employees make sure to call them first to let them know the exact situation.

Don’t pull out the race card unless it really needs to be pulled. Not everything is because you’re Latino, or because you’re black, or because you’re a Muslim. Sometimes, things just don’t go like they’re supposed to, and that’s no reflection on you. Sometimes we cannot give you the same thing we gave another table, either because we’re out of that thing, or because it’s going to be a while before that thing is ready. Sometimes you’ll be wanting to sit down, and while there are open tables, that doesn’t mean there are servers available to take care of them. It’s not that we don’t want to seat you because believe me, we want your money. It’s because we can’t seat you. If it’s a first come first serve area, and you sit down at someone else’s table, we’re going to ask you to move. It’s not because of your race, it’s because the table is someone else’s.

Another problem with the first come first serve (aka, cocktail) areas of restaurants: Do not sit down at a dirty table and immediately send your crotch spawn out to find someone to clean the table off. First of all, you sat at a dirty table in the first place, and we see you sitting there. Second, we’ll get there when we can. Sometimes you just have to wait. If you bitch at us about cleaning your dirty table, not even 2 minutes after you chose to sit down at said dirty table, we’re not going to take you seriously because you’re probably going to find other things to bitch about during your meal. Patience is a virtue, it’s time you learned to use that virtue to it’s fullest extent.

Don’t bring your unruly crotch spawn out to a nice restaurant if they don’t know how to behave, or if you don’t know how to control them. You’ll piss off other diners, and you’ll piss off your server.

Don’t go to the Wal-Mart with all your unruly crotch spawn in tow, and try to return things at the service counter while you have your cell phone stuck to your head. When you’re talking loudly about who’s fucking who and who’s beating on who. If you can’t talk in a normal indoor voice, without getting pissy, then they’re not going to take your return.

Don’t lose your temper when they don’t take your return without a receipt. Put yourself in their place, if you can. If you saw a string of people coming in without receipts trying to return things, would you allow it?

Don’t run around with your pants hanging off your ass, your cap all crooked on your head, your clothes 8 sizes too big, and a bunch of fake jewelry. Nobody likes a thug, and nobody likes a poser thug. You look stupid, you look immature, and you look like a moron. When you come in dressed like that, no matter where you are, we don’t care. We know when you bitch you’re just trying to get a discounted price on something, or get something free. Just don’t bother. Nobody likes a thug.

Women: Don’t run around wearing next to nothing, it cheapens you and makes you look like a street-walking whore.

Some things you should NOT say to your server

I’ve been thinking about some of these things for a while, and tonight just seemed like the night to post the list. Here are some things that you should just not say to your server when you’re out eating, either because it’s going to piss them off or because it’s just plain rude and makes you seem like a worthless piece of excrement.

“You missed a spot.”